This page as we get a change to write it will be discussing weight, we believe you can be big and healthy but some people may want help losing weight or simply getting a more healthy relationship with food so we'll try and put something up for you guys as well....

Okay so where to start.....

Big can be beautiful and it can be healthy. Having extra bulges and curves doesn't automatically make you bottom of the date pile or an unattractive no-hoper, loads of big gay guys have great relationships, active sex lives and are loved by men of all shapes and sizes.

Over the last few years sites such as www.biggercity.com and www.bear411.com have loads of profiles of big guys and the gay guys who are into them. Both gaydar and gay.com have busy chubchaser chat rooms, so if you want to start meeting guys who will be into you then that might be one place to start.

For many of us it takes a long time to get to a point where we can look in the mirror and not start a sentence with 'if only I were slim/muscled/skinny' but the reality is that for many of us that isn't going to happen over night and actually we're not in the right place to make that change. There are lots of guys who are slim/muscled/skinny who look in the mirror and start at sentance with 'if only i had a smaller nose, bigger dick, or more/less hair'. Getting to a point where you can look in the mirror and just accept what you've got, is a good start to being happier in your skin.....

The growth in bear and chub clubs has illustrated that as a big gay man you can find a place where men will find you attractive and you can take your shirt off and dance the night away with pride. Some of these men will be big guys into other big guys, some will be slim/muscled/skinny guys who like a sexy guy with more meat on his bones.

So let's talk a little bit about the journey from baggy clothes and hiding away from sex to being the big , beautiful, gay boy you really are....

First off, we can only write from our own experiences and the thoughts and experiences that other people have shared with us, so although you might find some of this relates to you, some of it might not, and that's fine, everyone's experiences are different.

We all put on weight for different reasons, some of us reach for chocolate and biscuits as support to help us through difficult times, as a reaction to bullying, being lonely, or just generally fed up, sometimes it's because of drugs like steroids or because of hormonal issues (it is true for some people honestly!). Generally it's an insidious creep and slowly you find yourself going up waist sizes and creeping up the xl-xxl-xxxl-xxxxl trail.

For some people, psychotherapy, particularly, cognitive behavioural therapy, may help with coming to terms with some of their relationship with food and deal with some of the issues that make them unhappy. There is some useful information on therapy
www.rcpsych.ac.uk/info/factsheets/pfacpsycho.asp

and finding a gay or gay friendly therapist at:
www.pinktherapy.com/
www.brilliantsanity.com/index.html
www.pinkpractice.co.uk

For other this journey begins with standing in front of the mirror and listing the things about yourself that you like, you eyes, your nipples, your dick, etc. Once you start to feel comfortable with your body then others will sense this and you become instantly more attractive.

Although some people only see beauty as skin deep, others believe true beauty is inside...so depends where you sit on the fence and what kind of moisturiser you use where you think your attractiveness comes from.

Fundamentally it doesn't matter what anyone else says to you about being handsome, sexy or attractive...until you can look in a mirror and see that spark that others find attractive you won't believe it.

So start staring at that mirror and find the bit of yourself that you are comfortable with and start to learn to live with your skin and the shape that you are.