Okay...so we couldn't have a website on bear health and not talk about sex....so where to start.....

Everyone has someone who somewhere finds them the most desirable sexy man on the planet....so the task is just finding them.....

It can take a while to get used to someone finding you sexy when you can't look in the mirror and feel comfortable but there are people out there who will find you attractive and will want to have sex with you.

There are a whole load of guys in all shapes and sizes, from models to builders, who get really turned on by a guy with a bigger build. One of the great things about the internet was it created sites like www.bear411.com and www.biggercity.com where you can post personals and hook up with guys - but if you are going to meet someone from the web, try and make it somewhere public, leave a not of where you're going and try not to get too drunk or out of control so you don't end up in a situation you later regret.

Anal sex as a big guy can sometimes be a challenge so play around with different positions
- if you like to get fucked, try kneeling on all fours or sitting astride the guy who's fucking you, or lie on your side, if you have a chunky cubby butt the guy might enjoy rubbing his dick between your butt cheeks without getting in side you.
- if you like to fuck try lying on your back and letting him sit on your cock, or lie side by side so you can fuck him

But there are loads of things that you can enjoy without having anal sex, and it isn't the be all and end all of having sex....so try different things....oral sex is great fun, try lying side by side and fucking each others faces....lots of guys who are into bigger guys will really enjoy rubbing their cock over your belly or between your thighs, they may want to rim you are well.....so explore, try new things and if you don't like them, just say so...sex should be fun for both of you....

If you have a big chest then some guys will really get off with you pushing your nipples towards each other and sliding their cock between them, its sometimes called a tit wank, if you feel comfortable with it then go for it, you might even get a face full of cum for a reward.

Sex can be hard work, so take it slowly and have breaks if you need them, if the guy you're with is into you then he'll understand, it should be fun so enjoy it......

It's worth remembering to wash your hands and your bits after sex.....if you've been fingering a guy or playing with his cock then washing your hands will help reduce your chances of getting food poisoning or anything else nasty....and it's just good hygiene!

Whatever your personal term is for the liquid goo that you use during sex this is a key part of sex play and a safer approach to sex. First of all and before we go any further, if you're using lube with condoms then it needs to be water based, if you don't believe me try blowing one up then rubbing on a little baby oil and watch it burst!

There are loads of different types of lube from Boy Butter which is organic and feels like margarine and comes in a hand tub to the silicon based lubes like ID and Powerglide to denser more creaming lubes like Liquid Silk to good old fashions but now in handy pocket sized tubes KY, try them out, try different ones, try some of the handy sample sizes you can buy from websites all over the place, work out what works for you.

There is some evidence that using more lube helps reduce the risk of HIV transmission. If you're using sex toys it helps provide a barrier between microscopic cracks in the rubber that can harbour nasty bugs and if you're using condoms a little drop on the dick before sliding it down will help increase the sensation for the guy doing the fucking and a lot around the outside not only helps your lover slip inside it also helps reduce some of the friction on the latex and reduces the risk of tearing or splitting the condom.

A wonderful advocate of the work on microbicidal lubricant in the US, Jim Pickett, is running an international survey of men and women about how we use lube, what types we prefer and what works and what doesn't so check out his website and let him know what you think at www.lifelube.org

One of the great things about 'bear culture' is it's acceptance of all body shapes, sizes, ages, identities and desirability. Sexuality comes differently to all of us, some of us have high sex drives, some of us don't, what's important is finding what works for you both in and out of bed.....

There are loads of websites out there with further information on safer sex so here are just a few that might be worth a look:

Metromate - www.metromate.org.uk/
Terrence Higgins Trust - www.tht.org.uk
Gay.Com Safety Zone - www.gay.com/health/safetyzone/
Managing Desire - www.managingdesire.org/GaySexWithoutRegret.html